Domestic Violence: Protecting Yourself and Your Children
What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is abuse by a caregiver, a parent, a spouse or an intimate partner. It can take many forms. Here are some types of abuse:
Physical abuse is the use of physical force
Sexual abuse means any forced sexual activity
Emotional abuse includes threats, constant criticism and put-downs. Controlling access to money and controlling activities are other abusive behaviors.
"Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse or intimate partner violence (IPV), can be broadly defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one or both partners in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, friends or cohabitation.
"Domestic violence has many forms including physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation.
"Domestic violence may or may not constitute a crime, depending on local statutes, severity and duration of specific acts, and other variables. Alcohol consumption and mental illness can be co- morbid with abuse, and present additional challenges when present alongside patterns of abuse.
"Awareness, perception and documentation of domestic violence differs from country to country, and from era to era. Estimates[citation needed] are that only about a third of cases of domestic violence are actually reported in the United States and the United Kingdom. According to the Centers for Disease Control, domestic violence is a serious, preventable public health problem affecting more than 32 million Americans, or over 10% of the U.S. population. (Wikipedia 2010)."
What should I know about domestic violence?
Violence against a partner or a child is a crime in all states. Each year, at least 4 million women are abused in this country. Abuse happens to people of all races, ages, incomes and religions.
People who are hurt by their partners, parents or guardians do not cause the abuse. Alcohol and drugs do not cause abuse, although they can make the violence worse. Abuse can begin, continue and even increase during pregnancy.
What can I do if my children or I am abused?
First, make sure you and your children are safe. Go to a safe place, such as the home of a friend or a relative or an emergency shelter. Take your children with you. Call the police if you think you can't leave home safely or if you want to bring charges against your abuser.
If possible, take house keys, money and important papers with you. Do not use drugs or alcohol at this time because you need to be alert in a crisis. The staff members at emergency shelters can help you file for a court order of protection.
What are other ways I can get help if I am abused?
Talk to your doctor, who can treat any medical problem, provide support and make referrals. Call an emergency shelter and ask about counseling and support groups for you and your children. Nurses, social workers and other health care professionals can also help you. If you are a Christian, contact your Pastor, Priest or Minister as soon as possible and let him/her know about your situation. Check what support groups are within the church for counseling and social assistance.
Gun Safety
Why is gun safety important?
We have all heard stories about children who are accidentally killed by guns at home or at friends' homes. These tragedies can be prevented if a few simple safety rules are followed.
Most parents know that electric outlets should be covered and that cleaning agents and other poisons should be kept away from children. However, more children younger than 10 are killed by guns than by poison or electrocution. Gunshot wounds are second only to car accidents as a cause of fatal injury in children. This means that gun safety in your home is as important as using car seats and seat belts in your car.
What can I do to protect my family from gun injury?
If there is a gun in your home, it must be kept out reach of your children and their friends. The gun must also be kept safe from family members who are depressed, who are abusive to others, who are abusing drugs (including alcohol) or who have Alzheimer's disease.
Children are naturally curious and like to explore. If there is a gun in your home, keep it unloaded and locked away, separate from the bullets, with the key available only to responsible adults. Teach your children what to do if they find a gun, even if they are not sure whether it is real or a toy. Teach them to remember these words: Stop! Don't touch! Go away! Tell an adult!
Before your child visits the home of a friend or a baby sitter, ask the parents at that home whether they have a gun in the house and, if so, whether the gun is unloaded and locked away.
Teenagers often act without thinking first. When teenagers are angry or depressed, they are more likely to kill or harm themselves if they can easily get a gun. It's best not to have a gun in your home at all if someone who lives there is depressed, thinking of suicide or is troubled.
Are there other ways I can keep violence out of my family's life?
Children learn how to behave by watching and doing what the adults around them do. It's best for the parents to talk peacefully in the home, to solve problems with discussion instead of anger or physical violence and to treat all people with respect.
Parents who want to raise peaceful children may also choose not to allow their children to watch violent TV shows, play video games that involve one player hurting another or play with toys that are pretend weapons.
Children who watch violent TV shows and play violent video games are likely to model violent behavior. Children who watch a lot of violent TV shows or movies may even have trouble understanding that violence in real life actually hurts people.
For the Christians, get your child involved in one of the church ministries within your vicinity. Th bibles asks us to train a child in the ways of the Lord and when grown up, he/she would not depart from it (Proverbs 22v6). The Lord's ways are free from violence.
